I don't feel entirely comfortable talking about this kind of thing on a forum as it feels small, but how does one deal with pain? I was born with two physical problems, one of which creates for me some degree of difficulty whilst the other, as well as predisposing me to other physical problems, brought me intolerable pain through social stigma. Throw in physical injury from a later accident and another problem breathing, made worse by passive smoking, and this body is wretched. Now just as a bad mindset founders all kinds of addictions and similar physical problems, so an evil body leads to an evil soul, a nasty temper not always justly directed and a covetous mentality centered around envy of what others take for granted, but that would always be denied to me. At the same time I have a coldness as regards emotions and a callous hardness that, as Nietzsche reminds us, is a divine boon. That most of my thoughts revolve round inflicting pain in some form or another is however surely down to a bad lot drawn for me before I was even born then progressively worse throughout the course of my life. At the end, I lack any kind of virtue or strength except those that have worked against me in the end; resilience despite physical and emotional pain, not least. Though my nature consists of storms and shadows, smoke and fires, and such things, it now feels burned out as my health deteriorates and I merely feel helpless and impotent as though everything was just a cruel joke. I have always intuitively shut out to pain whilst lashing out when feeling provoked, though I'm finding it much harder to do that now. How do you cope with your pain?